Like woahh, this boy, i met him not even a week ago?  Well he's really amazing, ill probably sound like a retard for the rest of this so some people, no need to read on, haha. Im not even sure if i should write this because it could make me seem, idk, just...you know. But im going to anyway, cus im in a good mood & i feel like writing it, ahaha. Anyway back to what i was saying, well this boy, who shall remain nameless for his own protection, like i said i totally jsut met him basically, but like the first thing i said to him was "marry me? ahahaha" or something along those lines, & he said back "sure but i already have 500 wives", i felt like an idiot. But now im glad i did that cus, if i didnt i wouldnt have ever met him, which would have been so terrible. But anyway, now im getting tired so ill wrap this part up, hes just awesome & i love him, more then he loves me! Haha! =)
But like, also, if i like him &or/ love him, chase, i still love chase, even tho i shouldnt, i do. (i use too many comas) & like ehh everytime i talk to chase i get a really bad feeling in my stomach like im soo nervous that ill do something wrong & well be done for good. Which i dont even know if thats possible anymore, but still im scared to lose hi, even though "i dont know him" he hurt my feelings with that soo bad. Saying nothing i ever said never mattered to him & you know that means, "i love you" meant nothing, writing those letters, meant nothing. Nothing i ever said matterd, but how could that be? If he says he loves me, then how does nothing matter? Well i doubt he loves me a bit anymore at all so whatever.

Im crying now, bed time. Shocking how i go from :D to :'(

First of all i wanna tlak about this whole "internet fame" issuie. You guys, you dont want it believe me about it, those who want 507893794729 friends, and want people to fake them, believe me its way more then that. People begin to stalk your personal life. The other day i was looking through myspaces out of boredness and i came across a girl who had a lot of pictures i dont have anywhere besides my photobucket, so that must mean she has my photobucket, creppy ay? Well yeah, like people start to try to hack your personal items to get more info on you or more photos of you. Thank god i have my friends only or id never get to talk to my friends, people flooding my comments with fakes & debating if im real or fake, which btw is totally rude, its my comments, comment me, not fight with others, jeez. It's just plain annoying! People go and ask me how people found out who i was and started faking me, if im famous etc. I so tired of being asked, no im not famous, yet. I dont know how people got my photos & crap. My first faker, some girl sent me it & i was shocked, it was like two years ago i believe? 2005 anyway, when i only had a xanga. Anyway Its crazy. And also, if you wanna be internet famous, just dont embarrass yourself, ever, everyone will find out. Dont put things on the internet you wouldnt want the world to seee, because if your internet famous, everyone will see. Also NEVER, i mean never take nudes, lmao (onlychaseknows) theyll be found out! Lmao but yeah.

does anyone read this?

life sucks. happiness is not real, theres no such thing, youre never happy there is always a flaw. You can be having the best time ever, but theres still something, always will be. Theres no way to fix it. Get over it. Youre going to be by yourself youre whole life, even if youre like a millon people, youre alone. Theres never going to be someone to fix it. Just nothing works out. Never do, never will. Dont try to make it work, youre wasting time. People dont care about each other! They care about themsleves. Most people say theyd die for a bestfriend no matter what, would you still die for your friend after they betrayed you? I think not, because you care about you more then them. Get over it. Love probably isnt real either. Its all a lie also. get over it. You dont need love. It always hurts in the end, so you dont need it.
k thanx

see how grr i am but yet still in my mind its like "oh i love chase soo much" & everything about him is rushing through my mind & im thinking about how wonderful he is, kind of tells you something, riight?

OMG
i had a dream and you know what?
chase was in it, okay well here let me tell you what happened
Okay me & chase was in this like old pet shop kinda thing, like with old fish tanks and that kinda stuff & we were "messing around" & i was siting on this table thing facing the window & he was in front of me & yeah. Then there was this really bright light coming around the little house thing & i was like wtff & me & him walked out side to see (the rest is a blur until we were in this semi truck sitting in the yard) & we were sitting there holding hands looking at each other & then the light came back & it was head lights to a big truck & it was coming right at us really fast & we just sat there like oh it wont hit us & then we were like ahhh & jumped out & the truck like killed ours & we were just laying there on the ground the the truck was still coming at us so we ran & the rest is a blur but we lived

when i woke up i was terrified it felt so real
kbye

Well yeah, im worried about him really badly, like how he changed it scares me to death, like how he used to be all ehh ewwie blood and now he can watch halloween and laugh about it, and his headline thing is like zombie people fighting, its scary it made me cry. But yeah im really really worried, i know its a stupid thing but i am. He turned into one of those scene kids and it scares me. I cant tell him cus he doesnt care what i think anymore but yeah but yeah mostly im scared that he might start doing bad stuff & i care about him tons so i dont want him in any trouble or getting hurt or go on drugs or something like that. I mean id give my life for this kid so i dont want that to happen :( But yeah im probably over thinking it but still im worried.